A Testimony about God and My Grandparents

Today, I have a testimony to share. I had shared this in many formats but am now writing this down in order to edify as many people as possible. This is a story about my unsaved family.

My grandparents hated Christians and didn't even want their kids or grandkids to have anything to do with church. They would physically look away and not listen when we were talking about God. This one time, some Christian friends came to visit and care for them, my grandpa actually looked straight up at the ceiling WHILE they were talking, talk about rudeness... Beyond this spiritual darkness, there were spiritual attacks from Satan as well. For my grandpa, every single time that he went to church, that same night he would have a nightmare about demons and evil spirits fighting him or holding him down on the ground. These dreams would get so intense that he sometimes woke up in the middle of the night and got violent with my grandma. It got so bad that he doesn't even want to be physically near a church building now. During the times we prayed, he would not listen, when we talked about Heaven and Hell, he would laugh, and at the mention of Jesus, he would scoff. My grandma on the other hand would simply laugh at me every time I talked about Jesus, saying I'm delusional for believing in the afterlife and that I'm 走火入魔 (in too deep in a demonic way). The gospel had been shared in full many times, from the showing of the law to the sinfulness of man to the desperate need of Jesus as Lord and savior.

I don't need to tell you guys that spiritual warfare is real. And this is what had been going on in my house for the past four months, with my older brother too who is not too unlike my grandpa (in his rejection). I tried preaching the full, unadulterated truth of the gospel to them and they turned away. I tried loving them unconditionally and being the best example of Christ I possibly could and they ignored it. I tried fasting and praying on my knees many times a week, crying out for God's intercession, and sometimes I felt like He wasn't answering.

What made it worse was how much I love my family. I love them so much. I love them more than any other human relationship I have. I love them with the love of Jesus Christ. If I could die so that they might be saved, I would. If I could pluck out my eyes so that they can see Jesus how I see Him, I would. They are drowning, dying, and I cannot do anything... I could only watch them die... And that's what they are doing now. God has shown me very clearly that it is He alone who has the power to save. Nothing I do, no matter how "right" they are and how "strategically sound" they might be can amount to anything if God chose not to work in that way at that time.

But praise be to God, the joy of my salvation and the uplifter of souls! When we realize that it is God alone who works (Psalm 62:1), He starts working. When we continue our responsibility in sowing the seed and then do nothing else but sleep (Mark 4:26-27), God makes it grow. When we stop thinking that somehow our efforts would "inspire" God to act and realize that any action on His part is by His grace and nothing else (Eph 2:8-9), that's when God shows up.

My grandparents live in Taiwan, and I'm in Canada. The fact that they were even here for four months was an amazing opportunity. Just a month or two ago, when they still didn't want have anything to do with God, they came to church! In fact, they were adamantly against going on the previous night. Then, through the petition of the saints on bended knees, we saw a complete change of heart within a few hours! I have so many more of these God stories in just the past four months I could share but this post would get way too long. Just know that for 81 years of their life, they had never went to church, been part of worship, prayed with people, or heard the full gospel. And this all happened this summer! Praise God! Praise God!

Last week when my brother left, as we were sitting in the car at the airport, as I shared how much he means to me and how much I wanted him to see Jesus clearly, right before we were about to pray, tears started forming at his eyes. I've only seen him like this twice in my life. God was tugging at his heart and it is so evident! Bob, if you're reading this, God is calling out to you right now! How can you deny it any longer? It's not family you miss or need, it's Jesus! Read your Bible, pray, and meet your savior! Sorry about sharing this in public, you'll be fine.

This week, not to share any details, I was devastated by my grandpa's hardness of heart. And it broke mine. I had to lay it all before the throne of God above because my heart could not take it anymore. I had to stop trying so hard and doing so much and simply trust that God's word does not go out in vain. I even had to lay my grandpa's life on the altar, saying that his salvation (or lack thereof) does not change a thing about my affection for Christ. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do.

The next day, after prayer, the same thing that happened to my brother happened to my grandpa. The thing is, during the whole prayer I was sharing about the love of Christ and how they need it so badly. The Holy Spirit led me to rebuke them! Instead of getting angry, my grandpa, who I've never seen tear up in my entire life, was doing all he could to hold back his tears. My grandpa, who had never held my hand, not even to cross the road when I was a kid, could not let go of my hand after prayer. This was God at work!

My Christian friends, you may know all these things. You may know how only God saves. But I am praying that this truth will impact you more today than it ever did. When we experience spiritual oppression of this level, we don't stop trying when we see how our methods are ineffective. We keep trying as long as we are with them, waiting for God to work, however long it may take. And when we are not with them, we pray unceasingly. And throughout it all, we trust in God not to do what we ask, but to do what is good. That is the secret to evangelism: To fully work and fully rest at the same time. The gospel is disgusting and the fragrance of death to those who are perishing. But once God flicks that switch, you can be doing and saying the exact same things, but your unsaved friend will be on his knees, begging God to forgive him, smelling life for the first time.

Is that not where you were when you met Jesus for the first time? On your knees, broken, but knowing you've finally found what you've been searching for? Do you remember the beauty of your savior when you first laid eyes on Him and the smile on His bloodied face? Can you recall more clearly what was shared at your conversion or rather the overwhelming weight of sin and the unsurpassable desire for Christ? That feeling was the Holy Spirit! The Spirit's working can and WILL overwhelm any of your efforts. It was by GRACE you have been saved! Shall we "stop working" so that grace may abound? By no means! Do you remember what you were when you were called? Can you think back on how much God has changed you since then? Do you not think that what the gospel did in you, it can do to your friend/family? Yes! Yes, God Is mighty to save.

And if you can't remember any of these things, you need to repent right now. Beg for Jesus to forgive you. Know in your heart that whatever you had before was of man and not of God. Ask for a new heart of flesh and new eyes of faith. Then open those eyes, and look! Look up, for Christ is waiting for you with open arms. Oh run to Him, run to our blessed savior! And know that then He will give you rest for your soul.

What is the Gospel?

Forget the internet, forget the audience, forget your friends, preach to yourself Tony. What is the gospel?

The gospel is the terrifying fact that God is good, so good in fact that He cannot tolerate an ounce of evil. It is the revelation that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. The gospel tells you to repent, for you are disgustingly evil in the sight of a holy God. It is showing that you are a liar, adulterer, blasphemer, and murderer at heart. It is realizing the impossibility of ever being near God because of your very nature, which is one that hates Him who created you. The gospel is examining your own life and seeing how you've hurt others and how in turn you might have been hurt. It is seeing this fallen world for what it really is. The gospel is the sound of many footsteps marching into Hell.

The gospel is good news, it is the news that tells us of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is the picture of people running away from God, but stopped by His loving hand. The gospel is confessing with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believing in your heart that God raised him from the dead. The gospel is turning over control of your life to Him, actually letting Him guide your every word, action, and even taking every thought captive. The gospel is saying that we cannot and we are not, but He can and He is. The gospel is being covered by the righteousness of Christ, being bought by his blood and therefore becoming slaves of Him. The gospel is substitutionary atonement, propitiation of sin, justification of the sinner, sanctification of the saint, glorification to God. The gospel is life eternal. And you are not to be ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.

The gospel is coming to the foot of the cross every single day and never wanting to leave. It is forgetting everything else in the world, desiring nothing else except the presence of our Lord and saviour. The gospel is a love relationship with the one who will never leave you nor forsake you. It is the ultimate picture of a husband and a wife. The gospel is perfect love, driving out fear, fear of how others might look at you or feel about you. The gospel is living a different life from the people around you, so different in fact that you must live always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. The gospel is grace, the gospel is law, the gospel is peace, the gospel is war. The gospel is real, the gospel is love, the gospel is Him coming down from above. The gospel is everything that points to God.

O why do you sin? Why do you lead this defeated life? Why do you anger? Why do you seek approval from men and to fit in with your friends? Look to Him, look AT Him. Look at Jesus' face as he took on the stripes by which we are healed. Look at the torment that caused him to sweat drops of blood. Look at the man who bore the terrible and complete wrath of God. Look at the Christ who came back three days later and pronounced final victory. What is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the housetops! Preach, preach to the nations! How can you hold it in?

The gospel is not being right or treated fairly, it is being in awe of the unfairness of the great transaction. The gospel is not reading your Bible every day, it is clinging to the cross every moment. The gospel is not running from sin, it is running to Him. The gospel is not wondering whether you have done enough, it is wondering if it can ever be enough. The gospel is not easy for it costs a man his life, but it is simple for even a child can understand it. The gospel is Jesus Christ. Please, I beg of you, receive the gospel of Jesus Christ! Love Him with everything that you are, love the gospel, be reconciled to your Master! And taste the sweetness of the joy set before you. And for the first time, live. For the sake of your own soul, live! Through the power of the Holy Spirit, live! In the name of Jesus Christ, live!

Yes God, I shall.

Clinging to the Cross

I am clinging to the cross because right now, that is the only thing I know how.

I am a lazy excuse of a man, having my parents take care of so much around the house. I am an impatient teacher, letting my anger flare up in the tiniest of mistakes. I am a horrible lover, unable to guard my own heart and unwilling to let go. I am a habitual sinner, daily unworthy of God's love as I continue to do the things that bring him no glory. I am a powerless evangelist, hardly preaching the word and never preaching the word hard. I am a nobody.

Here I lie, broken, unworthy, scared, angry, sad, and finally seeing a small glimpse of what I truly am. So I will cling to the cross. I will cling to the cursed tree that brought life (Deut 21:23). I will cling to that which is foolishness to most people (1 Cor 1:18). I will cling to the fulfilment of all the law and the prophets (Matt 5:17). I will cling to the impossible love demonstrated on the cross (Rom 5:8). I will cling to Jesus Christ, the hope of glory (Col 1:27).

What does it mean to cling to the cross? It means to hold fast and embrace the cross. Embrace the sacrifice that brought us peace. It means to hold on for dear life, never letting go, not for a job, not for a family, and not for anything in this world. It means to remain close to the cross and resist anything that would distance yourself from it. Resist those things because when the storm comes- and it is coming- the cross is the only thing that will save you. We cling to something when we are desperate, when we have nothing else around us, and when we believe that without it, we will die. Cling to the cross.

That is where I am, not by choice, but because God has painfully opened my eyes. I asked him, "Why God why?" "Look at the cross" he says, "Look at the cross!" It's not about me and my tiny problems, it's about God having solved it already. It's not about trying to be more humble, it's about obeying Jesus in every action. It's not about feeling depressed and hopeless, it's realizing the full magnitude of what was accomplished up there. It's not about whether I am this or I am that, it's about the great I AM.

The gospel is not something you try to share with unbelievers. The gospel is something that you preach to yourself day in and day out. The natural overflow of that is what reaches those around you. The gospel is not cheap grace that focuses on how God has changed you or how great your relationship with him is. The gospel is that God is unchangeable and that he has always been a self-sustaining and glorious triune God. The gospel is not Jer 29:11, the gospel is Phil 1:21 "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain".

Clinging to the cross isn't about how hard you can cling, it's about what the cross actually is. It's not about your petty sins. Look at the cross... It's not about your daily devotions. Look at the cross... It's not about Christian living, there's too much "me" in the bookstore, in worship music, in everything. LOOK at the cross! It is HIS life, HIS son, HIS blood, HIS wrath, HIS justice, HIS mercy, HIS grace, HIS goodness, HIS love, HIS plan, and HIS glory. Oh the beauty of our saviour, the majesty of our king!

I am everything I wrote in the first paragraph, but more than that I am a saint, so much so that the first paragraph doesn't even matter anymore. And I am part of a holy priesthood. I am a new creation (2 Cor 5:17). And I WILL bring glory to the one who died on that rugged cross. I will look at the cross, not myself, neither my strengths nor my weaknesses.

I am clinging to the cross because right now, that is the only thing I know how.

A Study on Hell

I can never hope to aspire to the same level of literary eloquence as the great theologians of the past. After much painstaking research, followed by awe-inspiring learnings and intellectually stimulating worship, I shall relay their thoughts on the matter.

The nature of Hell: 

"When we use the imagery of the Old Testament in an attempt to understand the forsakenness of the lost, we are not speaking of the idea of the departure of God or the absence of God in the sense that He ceases to be omnipresent. Rather, it’s a way of describing the withdrawal of God in terms of His redemptive blessing. It is the absence of the light of His countenance. It is the presence of the frown of His countenance. It is the absence of the blessedness of His unveiled glory that is a delight to the souls of those who love Him, but it is the presence of the darkness of judgment. Hell reflects the presence of God in His mode of judgment, in His exercise of wrath, and that’s what everyone would like to escape."

- R.C. Sproul (The Truth of the Cross)

The justice of Hell:

A crime is more or less heinous, according as we are under greater or less obligations to the contrary. ... The fault of disobeying another, is greater or less, as any one is under greater or less obligations to obey him. And therefore if there be any being that we are under infinite obligations to love, and honour, and obey, the contrary towards him must be infinitely faulty... Our obligation to love, honour, and obey any being, is in proportion to his loveliness, honourableness, and authority; for that is the very meaning of the words. ... But God is a being infinitely lovely, because he hath infinite excellency and beauty. ... His authority over us is infinite; and the ground of his right to our obedience is infinitely strong; for he is infinitely worthy to be obeyed himself, and we have an absolute, universal, and infinite dependence upon him. So that sin against God, being a violation of infinite obligations, must be a crime infinitely heinous, and so deserving of infinite punishment.

 - Jonathan Edwards (The Work of Jonathan Edwards)

The inhabitants of Hell:

On the other hand, hell is certainly the world of disobedience. ... Jesus said there are fire and worms in hell, but that is not the reason it is hell. You might endure worms and fire, but for a moral creature to know and realize that he is where he is because he a rebel - that is the essence of hell and judgment. It is the eternal world of all the disobedient rebels who have said, "I owe God nothing!" ... We have no basis to believe that we can come casually and sprightly to the Lord Jesus and say, "I have come for some help, Lord Jesus. I understand that you are the Savior so I am going to believe and be saved and then I am going to turn away and think about the other matters of lordship and allegiance and obedience at some time in the future." ... We have owed Him obedience ever since the second we cried out to Him for salvation, and if we do not give Him that obedience, I have reason to wonder if we are really converted!

- A.W. Tozer (I Call it Heresy!)

Our reaction to Hell:

Etiquette nowadays often demands of a Christian that he should not 'intrude' his religion on company. Out with such etiquette! It is the etiquette of hell! True courtesy to my fellow's soul makes me speak to him, if I believe that his soul is in danger. How many, my dear friend, were you ever the means of bringing to Jesus? You believe that they must eternally perish unless they have faith in Christ. How many have you prayed for? How many did you ever break your heart about? You believe that they must love Christ or be damned. How many have you ever talked to concerning him who is the only Savior? Are you satisfied to remain silent? Are you content to let those around you sink to hell? What! Never tell of Christ's love? What! Never tell of salvation? Can this be right? In God's name wake up! Oh my brothers and sisters in Christ, if sinners will be damned, at least let them leap to hell over our bodies and if they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees, imploring them to stay, and not madly to destroy themselves. If hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go there unwarned and unprayed for.

- Charles Spurgeon (Various sermons put together)

No one expects to go to Hell, no one.

Spurgeon's Heart

I'm going through old notes that I've written on Facebook, way back when I used to write about God so often. Here's one about one of my favorite preachers:

My Evangelist

by Tony Chuang on Friday, April 6, 2007 at 5:09pm 

Charles!!! You in my head!

Charles Spurgeon is an amazing person in terms of his perspective on things. He sees this world as it actually is and knows what is needed of Christians. He says things better than I can so I shall just quote him to show what I believe.

"Listen for one moment to the ticking of that clock! It is the beating on the pulse of eternity. It is the footstep of death pursuing you! Each time the clock ticks, death's footsteps are falling on the ground close behind you!" "Heaven and hell are not far away. You may be in heaven before the clock ticks again it is so near. Oh, that we, instead of trifling about such things because they seem so far away, would solemnly realize them, since they are so very near! This very day, before the sun goes down, some hearer now sitting in this place may see the realities of heaven or hell."

"You want to honor Him, you desire to put crowns upon his head, and this you can best do by winning souls for Him. These are the spoils that He covets, these are the trophies for which He fights, these are the jewels that shall be His best adornment." "Etiquette nowadays often demands of a Christian that he should not intrude his religion on company. Out on such etiquette! It is the etiquette of hell. True courtesy to my fellow's soul makes me speak to him, if I believe that soul to be in danger." "Having joined the church of God, are any of you satisfied to be silent? Are you content to let those around you sink to hell? What! Never tell of Christ's love? What! Never speak of salvation to your own children? Can this be right? In God's name, wake up! What are you left on this earth for? If there is nothing for you to do, why are you in this sinful world?" “No sort of defense is needed for preaching out-of-doors; but it would need very potent arguments to prove that a man had done his duty who has never preached beyond the walls of his meetinghouse.”

"You cannot stop their dying, but, oh, that God might help you stop their being damed! You cannot stop the breath from going out of their bodies, but, oh, if the Gospel could but stop their souls from going down to destruction!" “Lost! Lost! Lost! Better a whole world on fire than a soul lost! Better every star quenched and the skies a wreck than a single soul to be lost!” "If we had to preach to thousands year after year, and never rescued but one soul, that one soul would be full reward for all our labor, for a soul is of countless price." “I would sooner bring one sinner to Jesus Christ than unravel all the mysteries of the divine Word, for salvation is the one thing we are to live for.” “To be laughed at is no great hardship to me. I can delight in scoffs and jeers. Caricatures, lampoons, and slanders are my glory. But that you should turn from your own mercy, this is my sorrow. Spit on me, but, oh, repent! Laugh at me, but, oh, believe in my Master! Make my body as the dirt of the streets, but damn not your own souls!”

“If then, you will be damned, let me have this one thing as a consolation for your misery… that you are not damned for lack of calling after; you are not lost for the lack of weeping after, and not lost for the lack of praying after.” “If sinners will be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our bodies.” “And if they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, at least let it be filled with the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go there unwarned or unprayed for.”

“Have you no wish for others to be saved? Then you are not saved yourself. Be sure of that.” "The saving of souls, if a man has once gained love to perishing sinners and his blessed Master, will be an all-absorbing passion to him. It will so carry him away, that he will almost forget himself in the saving of others." "If you never have sleepless hours, if you never have weeping eyes, if your hearts never swell as if they would burst, you need not anticipate that you will be called zealous. You do not know the beginning of true zeal, for the foundation of Christian zeal lies in the heart. The heart must be heavy with grief and yet must beat high with holy ardor. The heart must be vehement in desire, panting continually for God's glory, or else we shall never attain to anything like the zeal which God would have us to know."


Think about this, then act. Evangelize. Let no one see hell if we can help it. Show caring, not indifference; love, not complacency.

Acts 16:31

I was challenged on the interpretation on a verse today, and I am happy. I'm also proud of the person who challenged me, and thankful too. We teachers should be held accountable and if we are wrong, we better be corrected! Now... about the verse:

Acts 16:31
And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household."

You're right in saying that Paul was more talking about the fact that the jailer's family can get in on this whole salvation business too. And I do think it's more of a localized promise rather than something general that is "do A to get B". However, I think we CAN apply this directly. When a person believes, he will show change in his life. Change should be so apparent that non-Christians should not be able to ignore it. And for one's family, the ones who are in contact with the person the most, they are going to feel the impact of the change the most. In addition, that person should not be able to shut up about God. That person, if truly saved, will most definitely want the same thing for his family too. A changed life combined with a passionate desire for others to experience Jesus the same way equals power, power to move the hearts of those close by.

Yes, ultimately it is still God who saves. But if God asked us to be laborers for the lost (Matt 9:37) and even uses us to reach lost souls (Rom 10:14), it only makes sense that a Christian can quite likely influence his family for Christ. On a more personal note, I've seen this for my dad. My Dad! But not for my grandpa, who has already passed away. So I guess I was a bit misleading. Though the fact remains that we are powerful tools in the hands of God, tools to reach our family. This verse, even if it doesn't promise that, reaffirms that through example.

Purity During a Relationship

This word has become a relic of days past in today's overwhelmingly sensual society. From the flamboyant displays of human flesh (male and female alike) to the changing definitions of friendship, we have fallen quite far from what God wanted and (even if you aren't Christian) what I believe is healthiest in a relationship.

Why is it that people are supposedly more attractive the less they put on? From an utilitarian point of view, why should we incite lust in people when that has such a strong correlation with crime? From an evolutionary point of view, isn't it ironic that we are regressing back to the caveman days when we were scantily clad when the whole point of clothing is to provide protection from the cold and from the sun?

As for the second thing I mentioned, that regarding friendship, I think we have made it closer to romantic relationships than they were supposed to be. If you're a guy, what is the difference between going out with a girl (ie. shopping) versus going out on a date with your girlfriend? To most people I've spoken to, it's in the mentality. Well, I think that's idiotic. Is holding hands less symbolic if you don't think anything of it? Is kissing meaningless and thus okay if you treat the other person as a friend only? And if you're a girl, does emotional intimacy mean nothing? Confiding always and spending so much time with your best friend (who happens to be a guy) is not as harmless as one might think. I'm sure that most people agree that physical intimacy should be reserved for a romantic relationship, but somehow emotional intimacy should be allowed free reign? Is it not often even more dangerous than the physical and its wounds deeper?

As for those already in relationships, is it now okay to do whatever you want? My Christian friends will most likely respond "no" to this question, or at least I hope. In our world today, people in relationships "touch" each other, be it holding hands or caressing hair or kissing, having sex, etc. But where do you draw the line? Does the Bible say anything about dating? Nope. But about relationships it does. And about purity it does. And about holiness, well, are you holy (different, set apart)  in your relationships? Are you different from your non-Christian friends in how close you get to your boyfriend/girlfriend?

I'm learning. I want to be pure. I'm not just talking sexual abstinence, I'm talking something far more than that. I don't want to do what everyone else does. I don't want my mind to be occupied with carnal desires. I want a focus on growth, growth towards God and from that intimacy with each other. I do admit that this is often in conflict with my flesh, very often in fact. But aren't we call to deny ourselves and pick up the cross daily?