Working Hard for the Lord

For those of you who don't know, I'm a full-time student of Moody Theological Seminary. Yes, I'm en route to get a Master of Divinity (to be a pastor). Some people don't think I'm in school because I'm here in Toronto and Moody's in Chicago. Well, I'm taking online classes (until August when I'm going on campus), and the workload is pretty intense. Or maybe it's because I'm taking 9 courses this semester.

Let's see, my Spring semester (January 4 to May 6, about 17 weeks) is ending soon, here's what I would have done by May:

• Read through the Bible (all 66 books)
• Studied the historical, cultural, and political context of each book (with archaeology where applicable)
• Supposedly memorized the author, date, provenance, and destination of each book (for my exams)
• Read through 10+ books that talks about theology proper, pneumatology, Christology, soteriology, whatchamacology...
• Written about 79 essays of varying lengths, 30 of which are full-fledged papers (average paper has 2000 words). So... 66,000 words? That's roughly 200 pages double-spaced

Ya, so that's roughly what I did for the past 17 weeks. Yes, just one semester. Courses include New Testament Exposition, Old Testament Exposition, Systematic Theology, etc. So how much work do I have to do a week? You do the math.

Oh, I'm also working part-time as a programmer (1-2 days per week) and am very involved at church (depending on whether I'm teaching, 12-16 hours). People have told me to cut back, so I have, but I can't cut away everything. Paul warned against idleness/laziness (2 Thess 3:10). And Peter tells us the reason for spiritual gifts is to serve others in the church (1 Pet 4:10).

What's the point of all this? Firstly, it's to rebuke all those who complain about being too busy. As a litmus test, I ask myself this daily: "Have you watched TV or played games today? Then you are NOT too busy. Strive to let everything you do edify either yourself or the church (1 Cor 14:12)." Breaks are necessary to not burn out. But breaks are 5-10 mins, not 1-2 hours. We all have the same amount of time. Number your days (Psa 90:12). Make the most of every opportunity (Eph 5:16), especially with the non-Christian (Col 4:5). Is this easy to do? No! I want to waste time every day. But I deny myself every day (Matt 16:24). Christian, do the same.

Secondly, don't say "I'm bored". No, no, no, no, NO! I'm talking to Christians here, those whose lives have been bought by Christ (1 Cor 6:20). Your lives don't belong to you (1 Cor 6:19). Therefore, live for Him (Phil 1:21). You have nothing to do? Pray for God to give you work! I promise you He has prepared something (Eph 2:10). Non-Christians, I have nothing against you. At least you are not living hypocritically. But I do want to urge you to give yourselves to God. It's worth it. :)

Thirdly, I'm writing this to let my brothers and sisters know why it seems I'm so busy all the time. That's because I am. I'm not trying to avoid you... It can be quite stressful sometimes with so much work piling up. Like right now... So I'm writing this to ask for prayer from my Christian family. Especially since I'm taking courses throughout the summer too, with a similar workload. Please don't stop praying for me, I will fail without your prayers channeling His power. And the very thing I was rebuking, about wasting time and laziness, I was really rebuking myself... I hate these sinful tendencies in me... :(

Lastly, I should be burnt out. The only reason I'm not is because God is sustaining me (Psa 55:22). The dean at Moody told me my workload was untenable 5 months ago. I somehow convinced him otherwise. See, I'm not naturally a hard worker, neither am I that brilliant. I'm not trying to boast of my abilities right here. Woe is me if I am! I'm boasting in my God, who made me (1 Cor 1:31). I'm trying to let everyone see how impossible this is so that you can give glory not to me, but to God. He is the one doing it, not me! Praise Him, not me! And you can do the same too, through Christ (Phil 4:13)! Work hard for Him, whether in school, at work, for your family, or at church. Whatever you do, work hard for the Lord (Col 3:23).

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me." - 1 Cor 15:10

A Testimony about God and My Grandparents

Today, I have a testimony to share. I had shared this in many formats but am now writing this down in order to edify as many people as possible. This is a story about my unsaved family.

My grandparents hated Christians and didn't even want their kids or grandkids to have anything to do with church. They would physically look away and not listen when we were talking about God. This one time, some Christian friends came to visit and care for them, my grandpa actually looked straight up at the ceiling WHILE they were talking, talk about rudeness... Beyond this spiritual darkness, there were spiritual attacks from Satan as well. For my grandpa, every single time that he went to church, that same night he would have a nightmare about demons and evil spirits fighting him or holding him down on the ground. These dreams would get so intense that he sometimes woke up in the middle of the night and got violent with my grandma. It got so bad that he doesn't even want to be physically near a church building now. During the times we prayed, he would not listen, when we talked about Heaven and Hell, he would laugh, and at the mention of Jesus, he would scoff. My grandma on the other hand would simply laugh at me every time I talked about Jesus, saying I'm delusional for believing in the afterlife and that I'm 走火入魔 (in too deep in a demonic way). The gospel had been shared in full many times, from the showing of the law to the sinfulness of man to the desperate need of Jesus as Lord and savior.

I don't need to tell you guys that spiritual warfare is real. And this is what had been going on in my house for the past four months, with my older brother too who is not too unlike my grandpa (in his rejection). I tried preaching the full, unadulterated truth of the gospel to them and they turned away. I tried loving them unconditionally and being the best example of Christ I possibly could and they ignored it. I tried fasting and praying on my knees many times a week, crying out for God's intercession, and sometimes I felt like He wasn't answering.

What made it worse was how much I love my family. I love them so much. I love them more than any other human relationship I have. I love them with the love of Jesus Christ. If I could die so that they might be saved, I would. If I could pluck out my eyes so that they can see Jesus how I see Him, I would. They are drowning, dying, and I cannot do anything... I could only watch them die... And that's what they are doing now. God has shown me very clearly that it is He alone who has the power to save. Nothing I do, no matter how "right" they are and how "strategically sound" they might be can amount to anything if God chose not to work in that way at that time.

But praise be to God, the joy of my salvation and the uplifter of souls! When we realize that it is God alone who works (Psalm 62:1), He starts working. When we continue our responsibility in sowing the seed and then do nothing else but sleep (Mark 4:26-27), God makes it grow. When we stop thinking that somehow our efforts would "inspire" God to act and realize that any action on His part is by His grace and nothing else (Eph 2:8-9), that's when God shows up.

My grandparents live in Taiwan, and I'm in Canada. The fact that they were even here for four months was an amazing opportunity. Just a month or two ago, when they still didn't want have anything to do with God, they came to church! In fact, they were adamantly against going on the previous night. Then, through the petition of the saints on bended knees, we saw a complete change of heart within a few hours! I have so many more of these God stories in just the past four months I could share but this post would get way too long. Just know that for 81 years of their life, they had never went to church, been part of worship, prayed with people, or heard the full gospel. And this all happened this summer! Praise God! Praise God!

Last week when my brother left, as we were sitting in the car at the airport, as I shared how much he means to me and how much I wanted him to see Jesus clearly, right before we were about to pray, tears started forming at his eyes. I've only seen him like this twice in my life. God was tugging at his heart and it is so evident! Bob, if you're reading this, God is calling out to you right now! How can you deny it any longer? It's not family you miss or need, it's Jesus! Read your Bible, pray, and meet your savior! Sorry about sharing this in public, you'll be fine.

This week, not to share any details, I was devastated by my grandpa's hardness of heart. And it broke mine. I had to lay it all before the throne of God above because my heart could not take it anymore. I had to stop trying so hard and doing so much and simply trust that God's word does not go out in vain. I even had to lay my grandpa's life on the altar, saying that his salvation (or lack thereof) does not change a thing about my affection for Christ. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do.

The next day, after prayer, the same thing that happened to my brother happened to my grandpa. The thing is, during the whole prayer I was sharing about the love of Christ and how they need it so badly. The Holy Spirit led me to rebuke them! Instead of getting angry, my grandpa, who I've never seen tear up in my entire life, was doing all he could to hold back his tears. My grandpa, who had never held my hand, not even to cross the road when I was a kid, could not let go of my hand after prayer. This was God at work!

My Christian friends, you may know all these things. You may know how only God saves. But I am praying that this truth will impact you more today than it ever did. When we experience spiritual oppression of this level, we don't stop trying when we see how our methods are ineffective. We keep trying as long as we are with them, waiting for God to work, however long it may take. And when we are not with them, we pray unceasingly. And throughout it all, we trust in God not to do what we ask, but to do what is good. That is the secret to evangelism: To fully work and fully rest at the same time. The gospel is disgusting and the fragrance of death to those who are perishing. But once God flicks that switch, you can be doing and saying the exact same things, but your unsaved friend will be on his knees, begging God to forgive him, smelling life for the first time.

Is that not where you were when you met Jesus for the first time? On your knees, broken, but knowing you've finally found what you've been searching for? Do you remember the beauty of your savior when you first laid eyes on Him and the smile on His bloodied face? Can you recall more clearly what was shared at your conversion or rather the overwhelming weight of sin and the unsurpassable desire for Christ? That feeling was the Holy Spirit! The Spirit's working can and WILL overwhelm any of your efforts. It was by GRACE you have been saved! Shall we "stop working" so that grace may abound? By no means! Do you remember what you were when you were called? Can you think back on how much God has changed you since then? Do you not think that what the gospel did in you, it can do to your friend/family? Yes! Yes, God Is mighty to save.

And if you can't remember any of these things, you need to repent right now. Beg for Jesus to forgive you. Know in your heart that whatever you had before was of man and not of God. Ask for a new heart of flesh and new eyes of faith. Then open those eyes, and look! Look up, for Christ is waiting for you with open arms. Oh run to Him, run to our blessed savior! And know that then He will give you rest for your soul.

Purity During a Relationship

This word has become a relic of days past in today's overwhelmingly sensual society. From the flamboyant displays of human flesh (male and female alike) to the changing definitions of friendship, we have fallen quite far from what God wanted and (even if you aren't Christian) what I believe is healthiest in a relationship.

Why is it that people are supposedly more attractive the less they put on? From an utilitarian point of view, why should we incite lust in people when that has such a strong correlation with crime? From an evolutionary point of view, isn't it ironic that we are regressing back to the caveman days when we were scantily clad when the whole point of clothing is to provide protection from the cold and from the sun?

As for the second thing I mentioned, that regarding friendship, I think we have made it closer to romantic relationships than they were supposed to be. If you're a guy, what is the difference between going out with a girl (ie. shopping) versus going out on a date with your girlfriend? To most people I've spoken to, it's in the mentality. Well, I think that's idiotic. Is holding hands less symbolic if you don't think anything of it? Is kissing meaningless and thus okay if you treat the other person as a friend only? And if you're a girl, does emotional intimacy mean nothing? Confiding always and spending so much time with your best friend (who happens to be a guy) is not as harmless as one might think. I'm sure that most people agree that physical intimacy should be reserved for a romantic relationship, but somehow emotional intimacy should be allowed free reign? Is it not often even more dangerous than the physical and its wounds deeper?

As for those already in relationships, is it now okay to do whatever you want? My Christian friends will most likely respond "no" to this question, or at least I hope. In our world today, people in relationships "touch" each other, be it holding hands or caressing hair or kissing, having sex, etc. But where do you draw the line? Does the Bible say anything about dating? Nope. But about relationships it does. And about purity it does. And about holiness, well, are you holy (different, set apart)  in your relationships? Are you different from your non-Christian friends in how close you get to your boyfriend/girlfriend?

I'm learning. I want to be pure. I'm not just talking sexual abstinence, I'm talking something far more than that. I don't want to do what everyone else does. I don't want my mind to be occupied with carnal desires. I want a focus on growth, growth towards God and from that intimacy with each other. I do admit that this is often in conflict with my flesh, very often in fact. But aren't we call to deny ourselves and pick up the cross daily?

Girlfriends and Relationship with God

I had originally wanted to write about my girlfriend, but God came out instead. Figures. It’s not entirely unrelated though. People sometimes don’t understand how Christians can be so fanatic about their God. But how can you not be fanatic about someone that wonderful? God is real, very much so. It’s not one of those things you proof, but it’s one of those things that is quite obvious once you have experienced it, kind of like a girlfriend.

People say girlfriends take up a lot of time and money… and patience, compromise, commitment, blah. It doesn’t take up a lot of money if you are smart about it (and fair). Plus, what’s a few bucks compared to seeing her happy? As for time… That’s true, it takes up a lot of time. But it’s all worth it! Why wouldn’t I want to spend all day with the girl that I like? It’s something that makes me happy. It’s the exact same with God. Why wouldn’t I want to spend all day with someone who not only makes me happy, but loves me so much more than I love Him?

You can say he’s not real and that he’s a crutch for those that can’t get through life. I challenge those who know me to say that. My faith is not blind, I have actual reasons for believing. And my God is not a crutch, I feel the happiest and most at peace when I’m praying or reading the Bible or just plain conversing with God. You want happiness? Pursue God. You want peace, have a relationship with Him. Like a girlfriend, you can think of a million reasons why it is disadvantageous. But once you step into that relationship, if it’s the right girl, those become non-issues. It’s the same for God.

Original: http://tcfish.blogspot.com/2011/07/what-my-girlfriend-taught-me-today.html

True Bachelor

After living alone for a few months, here's what I realized are things applies to a lot of bachelors out there. I'd like to clarify that the following may or may not be things I do, they are just observations...

1. Sometimes doesn't eat a meal not because he forgets, but because he is lazy and doesn't want to cook or spend the effort digesting.

2. Makes up for point #1 by eating tons and tons of meat when he does eat. And when he is seemingly out of meat, he digs through the freezer to find potentially 8-month old meat. Then he eats that... raw.

3. Takes off his shirt when he gets home from work, and then proceeds to cook, eat, clean, and even do some housework, all the while remaining shirtless. Who cares if the hot oil gets on his skin, at least it's not on his favorite shirt.

4. Goes a minimum of two days before showering. There is no upper limit, nor should there be one. Also never closes the door when in the bathroom, why should he?

5. Never gets bored because he can always find something to occupy himself with whether it be watching Anime, playing video games, programming, grunting, flexing, or applying expensive face cream.

6. Thinks of the most disgusting things that he does and not only does he do it as often as he pleases, he writes about it in an effort to repulse the world with his actions. Why? Because he's a man.

7. Wonders to himself how any girl could possibly like him.

Original: http://tcfish.blogspot.com/2011/06/true-bachelor.html

To come

So much to write about, so much to tell. But with time flying by, I can hardly write well. In fact, over the past few years the caliber of my writing has fallen so much that if my old self were to read it, he would sigh, weep, and finally slap me in the face, disowning me for regressing so far back. Alas, that is not the main reason I'm writing. "At least one blog entry per month."

In a few days I'll write more, specifically about my dad, my roommate, my God, and my apparently amazing/adorable white friend... not necessarily in that order.

Original: http://tcfish.blogspot.com/2011/04/to-come.html

Recess

Last night was a night of Inception, Rock Band, and ping pong. This morning I had Catan, followed by meditation. A few nights before that, Conan and I had a nice conversation about relationships, after which I am more certain of the type of person I am, and with it the height from which I've fallen. The metaphorical ledge from which I've leapt was guided not just by faith (though I'd like to believe), but also by my encumbering pride, the one thing I feel I could never let go.

But my life is different, that I have no doubt. If you knew me before, you'd know that after I decided to follow Christ, my life has changed for the better. I view things with a new lens, the purpose of life is clearer. We are more than just masses of tissue, than chains of amino acids, than just carbon bonds waiting to be broken. No, there is more to life than this. The hate we have for injustice, the joy we share with our friends, the love we have for our family, the emptiness we feel even after the most epic of galactic battles... these emotions penetrates and will perpetuate throughout the rest of our lives.

My life is different. But in so many ways they remain the same. I still have the same need for gaming, the same fervor for logical reasoning, the same condescension for those around me, the same paradoxical behaviors that make up who I am. I want a 4.0 GPA but refuse to study diligently. I teach discipline but often fall to negligence. I like solitude but cannot help being with people, talking to those I care about, and missing those I like. Perhaps I should rephrase: I am not interested in a relationship right now but my subconscious seems to tell me otherwise. Not that I see anything bad with that last point, I am merely drawing attention to my own inconsistencies. As Cobb from Inception would put it: "It's my subconscious. Remember, I can't control it." And I assure you, you have no idea what I lock away in that safe in the darkest recesses of my mind. No idea.

Though following tradition, what I wrote is purposefully ambiguous, I can say this: I have many flawed fibers in my being, the imperfections I hide seeps out like a plague any time I fail to pay attention. Sometimes I'm forced to wonder: who will take me in this state? I myself am my biggest enemy. And who can save me from myself? 

But I know I can take refuge in the fact that someone already has. It will at least be a peaceful recess until my doubts creep in again.

My thought process

老了

我這次回台灣突然發現老了很多，
我認識的人有些畢業了在找工作然後有些已經工作很久了。
之前算學弟的都畢業了我這樣還有臉見人嗎？
要不是我臉皮超厚有完全不care他人的眼光我還能出去找朋友嗎？

我在加拿大就覺得很老了，那些18歲的小孩跟我差的真的很多，
好險我天生就長的＂幼齒＂。嗯。個性好像也是...
其實這次會覺得老很多是因為三件事情:
1. 我去醫院看我外公時遇到一個阿姨帶著六歲左右的小朋友。我們一起上電梯的時候阿姨就跟小孩講：＂問叔叔要到幾樓＂
小孩回：＂叔叔你要到幾樓＂
我說一樓。
然後阿姨又說：＂你看叔叔多乖，都沒有給護士麻煩＂
小孩竟然也對我說：＂叔叔你好乖喔＂
我完全沒辦法回他，只能笑笑的說＂對啊＂
我那時是第一次被陌生人叫叔叔，好悲傷喔。
2. 我去光華商場逛街時在一家電買一個3.5mm音響線跟老闆談到台幣升值和我現在沒錢。
他就問我：＂怎麼會沒錢？你今年年終獎金多少？＂
我看起來真的像已經工作那麼久的人嗎！？我是有在part-time寫程式，但我還故意打扮得有點學院風啊！其實也沒有，就戴眼鏡而以...
3. 再來就是去宜蘭的高山伯朗咖啡館時有一個年輕爸爸帶著4-5歲女兒看風景。
看到我過去就請我幫他們照相。我照完後他就跟他女兒講：＂說謝謝叔叔＂。
那小女孩是很可愛的對我笑，我覺得是太害羞了所以沒說話。
真的好可愛喔～
但這不是重點！為什麼我是叔叔！？為什麼？我明明就看起來一副大哥哥樣子啊！
我不要～　T.T

外帶一提，我剛跟我阿嬤看完夜市人生。想說這次回來要好好陪她。我隨便做什麼或說什麼她都好高興喔。看了我也好高興。
還有我用我的破爛台語跟她傳福音了，雖然她不接受但希望透過我跟她講的綜多事情她以後會改觀。這次竟然沒有說基督教的壞話而只是說她太老了。心軟化了！要多禱告。

黯然銷魂家

難得在台灣竟然會有半天的時間讓我休息，半天沒有約任何人或做任何事。

每一天不是約很久不見的朋友出來就是尋找從來沒吃過的美食。

現在體重暴增的很誇張... 如果有gym多好, 這樣就可以多多利用那些熱量...

那我這半天要做什麼呢？思考好了。

往窗外看，

曾經蔚藍的天空現在被濃厚的烏雲所蓋住，

每次返台起床都看不到太陽也感受不到清晨的溫暖。

這種天氣會讓人不想起床，起來了以後也會讓人漫無目的的在家裡閒晃。

我想念被黎明的曙光叫醒, 在有暖氣的房間慢慢的摺好棉被，穿好衣服。

然後在滿滿窗戶的家悠哉的度過沒有約會的一天。

啊～

好久沒有過這種生活了，好久沒有讓我感覺到時間是可以這樣子浪費。

還我太陽，還我溫暖，還我青春！

時間過的太快了，不知不覺我真的浪費了好幾年的青春...

No more.

Airport Musings

7.83Mb/s download
7.67Mb/s upload
Toronto's Pearson International Airport has faster and better internet than UOIT, by far.
It still doesn't beat my fiber optic at home but for a public insecure wireless network, I'm impressed.

It's technology like this that makes me wet my pants (figuratively speaking of course).
As I stand in this ever-growing line of people, waiting to check-in for the flight at 12:55 Christmas Eve, I found myself with nothing better to do but blog.

Despite having signs everywhere talking advertising free wi-fi, no one else is using their computer except me. Are they just not as awesome and carry their laptops wherever they go (including the bathroom)? Or... actually, there is no alternative. I'm just too awesome. So awesome that I can write about absolutely nothing yet, using the linguistic tools at my disposal, craft a blog article worthy of being called a masterpiece... not. I'm too tired and lazy to put too much thought into writing, at least not right now.

It is often during the end a long journey that one stops to reflect on all the one has done. It is only during this brief repose at the airport check-in line that I have finally found the time to think about my semester. What exactly did I do?

I took 6 courses, including the accursed algorithms and PDP-10 filled operating systems. I've never had to work this long on assignments. I have a new found appreciation for middleware, which does all this annoying crap for you. But I suppose I learned a lot from this semester.

I also led a connect group, which was the best connect ever. I had a really cool co-leader (Amberlea) and a bunch of all-too-shy freshmen. But near the end I think everyone opened up a lot more, which is good. I sincerely hope that apart from being graced with such cool leaders (which I'm sure they all agree), they grew a lot in knowledge and depth of insight.

Working was not bad either. I admit that rather than testing software I'd much rather program, it's a nice change of pace from the normal programming that I have to do for school. Since I write scripts for my own life too, it'd be overkill if I programmed for school, work, and play.

I also made a lot of new friends. I had no idea some people liked evangelism as much as I did, it's truly encouraging. Growing closer with the people in my program was a plus too. One grows a bond with one's fellow brother in arms. Some may have fallen, but most of us survived... I think. I couldn't go to the gym as often as I wanted to this semester. But at least I went one last time with some connect members after finals. We're going again next semester, for sure.

Now, from the time of starting this post to this point, I have moved from the check-in line, passed the security, and is now waiting in front of the boarding gate, furiously typing in the hopes of finishing my blog before I have to board the plane.

基恩, 你讀到這裡了話就代表你知道我回去台灣的時間了. Too bad.

My friends in UOIT, I will return soon. Until then, do something exciting. I know I will.
I just realized how boring this blog post was, I'll make it more amusing next time. Too bad it'll be in Chinese so a lot of you won't understand. Suck it up and learn Chinese.

Tired 誒...

I feel like I am disregarding my English speaking friends like this, but I'm too tired to care.

最近一直在忙, 我從來不知道原來學校可以讓人這麼煩
是有一點累, 畢竟連續幾天只睡3-4個小時會讓人很沒有精神
但最主要的問題是壓力
誒...

我暑假(後半段)還不是每天從早上九點工作到十二點, 連周末都要做...
那個時候是身體累, 但是生活算是無憂無慮
反正就工作嗎... 不就是上班, 工作, 下班, 睡覺
就算沒做完隔天在做就好了, 或者加班把它趕完
那時根本沒有什麼壓力可言
現在有不知道做的做不了的作業, 有讀很久還讀不懂的書, 複習很久還是fail的考試, 花很多時間還是寫不出來的程式
誒...

和班上的人感情比較好了, 因為只有我們才可以完全的了解這些東西有多難
而且我還比他們多上一堂課! 他們都說我瘋了, 哈哈哈... 或許吧沒寫過電腦程式的人不知道有時候要寫一個完整的程式需要費多少時間, 腦力, 咖啡...
然後有效率的sort (n log n)一個小小的array(不能用內建library)需要花幾十個小時, 死hash table, !@#$#
誒...

Maybe I'm just dumb. All these things can't possibly be that hard. I used to think I'm a genius, or at least an incredibly smart individual.
I mean who else can master everything from foosball to integrals to multiple languages to Unreal Tournament?
Perhaps what they say about pride leading to downfall is true...
Why the heck is this in English?
誒...

我現在連中英文都沒辦法好好分清, 太誇張了
一直自我感覺很良好的超人累了, 我不太能在叫自己超人了...
誒...

但我發現我越來越依靠神了
我發現當我們人終於感受到自己的不足時 神會漸漸的被重視
如果我們人生所有東西都很順利 我們不會想到去親近神, 去請求祂幫助我們
人就是那麼現實那麼卑微的動物...
誒...

所以我很感謝神給我那麼多壓力
我感謝神在我終於渡過一個難關時給我另一個難關
我感謝神現在還是持續的輔導我, 幫助我解決所遇到的所有問題
我感謝神給我信心去相信祂, 永不離棄祂
神真的很棒, 為什麼我一些朋友不想去認識祂?
誒...

我很累, 但我有耶穌, 所以我不會有問題的

Hi I'm Tony and I'm a workaholic.

Thanks to Michael Quach, I was able to find a job in the office last week. It's a software development firm, which is nice, since I'm actually doing something related to my major now.

I didn't want to quit my job at the sushi place so I'm now holding two jobs.
It's funny how I get to find jobs so easily while actual Canadians are having trouble finding work. I would feel a sense of guilt but I'm a workaholic who doesn't have time to reflect on petty emotions now.

Here's my daily routine:
I leave for work at 8:35AM, spend the day testing the program. My job as a tester is to break the program and find every single tiny bug in there. And when I run out of things to find, maybe I can finally do some messing around with the code, which is so much more fun. Yes, programming is fun for me. They use vb.net btw.

And then at 5:00PM I leave to hurry to the sushi place, where I now cut lettuce, onions, 茄子, zukinis, lobsters, and the like. I also burn my hand with 120 °C oil while making tempura. Did you know we tear lobsters in half while they are alive? It makes them more fresh. They can actually stay alive for a minute or two in that state, pretty intense. Anyways, we close up and eat dinner at 11PM. And then I finally get to go home, arriving around 11:15PM. So that was Monday through Wednesday. It seems 14 hours isn't enough stress (I'm conducting a stress test on my self to see how much I can handle, refer to this blog post), I wonder how much my body can take before it breaks down... I'm going to ask my sushi boss to give me more night shifts.

This comic would be more accurate if there's a kitchen scene.

I feel like I have so much time today since I only worked one job. So I calculated and I'm making quite a bit of money, I like it. :D There really aren't any workaholics in this world, just people who either need or love money, or both. Why would you do nothing when you can make money? I have 16 hours a day if I count 8 hours of sleep. So I'm wasting 2 hours not making money every day!

PS. I'm not completely serious here. I won't kill myself, don't worry. I am working a lot now though...

Quality Control

It always seems that more Chinese readers read what I write anyways, so screw English... at least for now.

最近一直在工作, 一天12小時的在日本餐廳努力賺錢
下禮拜如果萬事順利了話會更忙
嗯, 太好了, 我想知道我自己到底能被操到什麼程度
這就是所謂的product stress test 吧
如果不去測試一個產品所能承受的psi, 它能持續運作多久, 以及其他品質控制會做的種種,
產品的最高效能就不會被提升, 客人也有可能不會滿意...

這就是我想把自己搞到累垮的原因, 但看來stress還不夠...
我這樣的思考模式會很怪嗎? (No, 我不希望你回答)
我這樣做是為了提升自己, 不是masochistic (我知道有人一定會這樣說我)
真的, 請相信我

嗯...
I will cut better, I will cut better, I will cut better...

昨天去考加拿大的駕照, 一次考上! Muahahaha
楓葉卡也在幾天前拿到, 醫療卡也去申請了
我身上屬於加拿大的ID已遠遠超過台灣了

In other news, at small group and fellowship yesterday, we talked about how to serve in a greater capacity.
In order to serve better, one has to be put in a position where one has the need. This further illustrates my long time view of how leaders are grown, not born. If you want to lead, put yourself in a position to do so and God will do the rest. If you don't have God in your life and the Holy Spirit leading it, ask yourself why and what you are missing out on.

啊! 我昨天做了很奇怪的夢, 下次在寫吧

New Uniform + Random Happenings

So we got new uniform at work a few days back.

Oh, for those that don't know yet, I've started to work a while back (almost right after I got my social insurance number). I work in the kitchen at this Japanese restaurant, the type that sells sushi, udon, and other miscellaneous Japanese food. I'm officially working as part-time even though I'm putting in full time hours. I think this allows the owner to not buy me insurance or something. Hope I don't lose a finger anytime soon, I already have a crack in my nail from bad cutting.

Speaking of cutting, I have never cut this many carrots, cabbage, potatoes, etc. in my life. And yet I still suck at it... I don't think I'm THAT slow, it's just that those guys are way too fast. According to "shifu", I'm only gonna cook when I get better at cutting.

Anyways, we got new uniform yesterday. It's this white jacket with black buttons and black sleeves. With this we actually look like chefs in a hotel as opposed to mere kitchen workers in a small restaurant. The black lower apron didn't change, but no one can see that anyways. Oh, one thing I should mention, I'm still wearing the "trainee" uniform, which sucks. It's not like I can't cook, he just won't let me, at least not the "hard stuff". If you come at lunch though, I make the easy stuff and you can try it.

On an unrelated note, a few of us from church went on a retreat last weekend. We hung out, played foosball half-watched two movies, went to the pool, and discussed predestination. Fun stuff. Hard to swallow at times, but awe-inspiring nonetheless. Oh, I heard Tears in Heaven on the guitar again on the retreat, so it's not just Conan who plays it... After going home and practicing, now I can play it too.

Side note: My dad hurt his lower back/hip a few days ago (閃到腰). I just got off work and saw him on the floor, apparently he could not even move. From his contorted figure, I could tell he was in agonizing pain. He's better now, but pray for him. He also audibly prayed to God for the first time, that's pretty sweet.

工作心得

為什麼沒有男性絲襪?
男生需要站一整天腳就不會酸是嗎?
化妝品啊, 假睫毛也是, 適合新新都市男孩的假睫毛勒?
我並不是想用, 但我希望至少可以有選擇...
男女根本一點都不平等嗎...

最近開始在一家日本料理店工作, 而且在廚房, 以後我廚藝會大大增進吧 :D
我發現站一整天真的會累, 大概是我從來沒有站那麼久沒休息過吧
12小時有點違法吧...
回家時小腿超硬的, 我覺得可以去跟大理石比

嗯, 累歸累但我還學習到蠻多的
這是一些我和師父的對話:

他: 你切太粗了, 很醜啊. 小心點, 慢慢來
我: 喔, sorry
他: 動作太慢了, 在餐館業要動作很快的...
我: sorry
OS: 我沒辦法像你一樣快狠準, 對不起我那麼沒用 T T

他: 刀子和你又沒有仇, 不要那麼用力, 這樣刀很容易壞的
我: 喔, 好的
下次劈魚頭時...
他: 不要用兩隻手, 用力就好
我: 我... 切... 不動
他: 哎呀, 長那麼高大是幹麼的... 像這樣
師父很man的示範單手劈超硬的魚頭

他: 你有沒有兄弟姊妹啊?
我: 有, 一個哥哥
他: 我們距離越來越遠了
我: 但我有很多表姊表妹
他: 我們距離又變近了

師父我會加油的... 雖然好累...
被罵是正常, 被罵是為了要成長, Tony你沒有那麼沒用, 要有自信點
Tony你不會被打敗的, 你切的菜沒有那麼醜... 這都是學習過程
Tony你真的沒有師父說的那麼沒用, 相信自己, believe... fighting!

之前是早上十一點到晚上十一點, 雖然closing完都十二點多了... 回到家也不知道幾點了...
還有昨天因為洗碗的沒來所以我沒有休息的洗了六個鐘頭的碗, 我的手要爛掉了~

現在師父說我晚上幫不上忙 (晚上菜還不讓我做, 中午也不太會其實), 所以幾乎都是五點就下班了, 除了特別忙的幾天
這樣我晚上就有空去starbucks工作摟... 趕快找...

PS. 師父跟我要台灣女生的照片, 我手機就那幾張所以就選了XXX的照片給他看
請原諒我, 師父逼的

I'll semi-translate this later...

Mormons Are Coming

So I met with Mormons twice already.
When they called me and said they were with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints it didn't actually register to me that they were Mormons. I mean what kind of church or organization would put two of's in its name. It's not that it's grammatically unsound, it's like equipping two carts to an ox. Why would you do that to an ox? What did the ox ever do to you? It's bad enough putting on cart, but two!?

Anyways, they said they really wanted to meet with me and since I wasn't doing anything I let them. I was too lazy to go anywhere so I said they could come to my place. Two people ended up coming that first time. They started to small talk about crap I didn't care about. Why is it that people insist on having small talk? I know why they came, they know why they came. Small talk is reserved for unfamiliar acquaintances and awkward moments.

In any case, a few questions about my house and my hobbies later, and a Crazy Train riff later, I asked them out right, "So tell me what you want to share." I learned a few things that day about what they actually believe. I know about Mormonism, but everything I know are derogatory and downright mean. I wanted to hear what they have to say themselves. It's only fair. They shared about the basics that day and what they believe about the resurrection, Jesus, and the church. It wasn't until the second meeting that they shared with me their plan of salvation.

Let me tell you, that plan is messed up. Apparently all the souls has always existed since before the beginning of time, and God had a perfect physical body. Then we have the current life, then death and three heavens waiting for us. Oh, they have no hell. What the hell? What irked me the most was how they never even mentioned how to convert. Were they intimidated by me? I wasn't aggressive at all! I was playing the "shy curious guy" card.

Not the guys I met with, just a picture of Mormons.

I didn't want to bash them so I instead just asked them questions:
1. So the founder Joseph dug up these golden tablets (which was buried around 400BC, it'll take an excavation team to dig up something from that time). And the tablets were written in the alternate Egyptian hieroglyph (which linguists have deemed non-existent and even inconsistent with itself based on supposed translations). So after Joseph translated with the help of God, an angel came and took it away. So no one has seen the tablets except him. Care to explain?
2. How do you know your modern day prophet is real?

I have respect for Islam because their teachings have a source that we can trace to. Everyone can scrutinize their religious text in its original form. The same could be said for Hinduism and Buddhism. Christianity also has records from as far back as the Dead Sea Scrolls (or probably further, my archaeology is a bit rusty). Good science allows other scientists to repeat the same experiment. Good history has multiple manuscripts supporting its accuracy. I have no sympathy for something that correlates to neither.

They are coming here again today. Let's hope it goes well. They are perfectly nice people and easy to get along with. I don't wish any harm upon them. This is precisely why I'm sharing what I believe and also the foundations I have for those beliefs. Contrary to popular opinion, faiths are not blind and have a foundation. Mine is stronger and thicker than 25,000 original manuscripts piled together.

暑假好~~悠哉啊~

我好久沒有寫部落格了...

其實我也好久沒有寫中文了...

我覺得我應該更常update一下我的生活, 畢竟我真的有做蠻多直得分享的事情.

比如說...

我上上禮拜從學校搬到Toronto附近, 雖然搬家很累但我有好多人幫我喔

要不是我臉皮厚的不像話可能會更累吧; 因為不只是朋友, 我好像連朋友的家長都拉來了

然後上個禮拜我辦了一個小小housewarming party, 到後面搞到有點失控就對了 XD

可以去我Picasa或Facebook看照片

再來呢... 最近開始自己煮飯

以前都是偶而弄個簡單的pasta或者是微波爐便當, 但因為現在是長期需要煮飯而不是當懶的出門才煮, 所以必須注意每一餐的營養成分

要確定自己有足夠的肉, 要不然protein會不夠, 這樣肌肉就沒辦法繼續成長

Carbohydrate雖然容易填飽肚子但吃太多會很容易胖

蔬菜水果更是每一餐都要有的...

"要愛護自己的身體以後身體才會愛護你" -莊媽媽明言

如果有兩個人了話其實會比較好煮菜, 不需要每餐都只弄一點點東西或放冰箱隔天吃剩菜

加上每天都要去想該煮什麼該買什麼, 好煩好煩喔~ (sarcasm)
我也有在Picasa和Facebook放food diary :D

我是不是很幸福? 至少到六月之前, 每天就是看動畫, 玩遊戲, 彈吉他, 去廚房嘗試新料理, 睡覺, 偶而洗個澡.

還有很多時間去讀經, 禱告, 跟教會的人打籃球 (我被稱為籃板王喔)

尤其是看到一些masochistic的朋友天天忙著工作或實習, 回到家也不休息, 我真的好幸福喔...

別懷疑, 我是在說妳蔚翔

妳很累吧, 我好像是應該說加油之類的話, 但我聽膩了這套互相鼓勵的話.

保羅是怎麼鼓勵教會的, 彼得呢? 神又是對約書亞說什麼? Be strong and courageous...

古人說我們人都是在苦難中最能經歷神, 古人是對的.

嗯... 不知道說什麼... 加油摟~ (弱掉)

放心, 妳很堅強的, 加上有超多人為妳禱告的不是嗎?

說到禱告, 我有個叫韡承的朋友

韡承啊, 你不要給我一直忙東忙西然後閒沒人關心, 我要找你都找不到耶! 聊天那麼難嗎?

Anyways... 他是一個又帥又穩重的一個真男人, 他很會關心別人, 有穩定的工作, 加上他會Java!

為什麼提到他呢? 因為我上次跟他見面時有問要怎麼幫他禱告, 當然他是先提到團契(但這是預設帶禱事項所以不算). 之後他就提到另一半和他的一些希望...

說到另一半, 馬修先生啊... 禱告...

其實好多人都在煩惱這件事, 我不煩惱會很怪嗎? 難道是我還沒長大!

我是唯一覺得單身很幸福的人嗎!?

台灣... 大概是因為我長期在很多國家中移來移去, 我習慣了長時間不會遇到很多人這感受

所以"想念"並不是一個經常發生的事, 但每當我開始去聊到想到或寫到一個人就會開始想念這個人. 所以現在腦海中浮現眾多台灣的朋友們代表...
喔對, 還有我的親愛的家人和可愛的親戚 :D

有點想回台灣... 或著是台灣可以過來

PS. Amy小姐, 加拿大之旅計畫如何?

PSS. 快見到爸媽了

不是我畫的

Need Furniture

As some of my Canadians friends should know, I have recently rented a house in the greater Toronto region to live in over the summer and also for my parents to live in when they come over from Taiwan/Malaysia. It is an empty house. When I say empty I don't mean that it actually does have a lamp, or a bed, or a flat screen TV. When I say empty, I mean empty. Though it does have a kitchen with a fridge.

Click this to see a picture of the empty living room.

In the spirit of resourcefulness, I'm trying to acquire furniture through the most financially sound means conceivable. In other words, I'm cheap and would like free furniture that you guys don't want. I'll also pay for stuff too if asked just to be fair. I may be cheap but I understand that there's no such thing as a free lunch. So if you see any good prices and listings or shops, let me know.

Below are what I need, or at least what I can think of right now. They are for your reference and also for mine when I go shopping after moving in.

These are what I have already gotten as of now:
Dining table
TV stand
A set of leather sofa

As for what I need:
Queen size bed and stand for parents
Mat or something that I can use to sleep on, futon works too
Coffee table, for the living room
Desk, for my computer
Chairs and/or barstools (for granite kitchen island)
Extra couch/sofa?
Curtains, 2 sets I think
Plates, bowls, and silverware. Pans and pots too. I'll probably just buy these.
50" HDTV with optional PS3 (games accepted but not required)
Other things that I may have missed but are usually found in an apartment
爸媽, 我忘記什麼了話跟我說一聲

Please let me know if you, your parents, your neighbor, or your rich uncle has extra stuff to give away.

I also still need help with moving and also shopping for extra furniture after moving in.
I'm planning on moving either May 1st or May 2nd, from my current residence on campus to Markham (Pacific Mall region).

You can't refuse this now can you? Pretty please? Leave a message and help a poor, international university student out.

想家想到宣教

好久沒有寫部落格了, 更不用說用中文寫... 噢買尬, 我真的變懶了!

其實最近真的發生蠻多直得下筆的事情:
上週末我兩天花25小時寫一個Java的程式, 而且到最後還沒寫完...
上個禮拜是我們這裡的reading week, 也就是一個禮拜的休假, 我宅到要發霉了...
初二時我在台灣的眾多表親聚在一起...
他們竟然趁我不在的時候玩的那麼高興, 你們怎麼可以這樣對我? T T

突然又感受到加拿大的冷, 殘酷的現實, 離家的孤獨
我在美國的三年多從來沒有真的想家過, 起碼想吃臭豆腐和牛肉麵
現在的我也不是真的想家, 但我想見台灣那群可以稱的上我家人與朋友的人
我沒有傷心或難過, 只是更深的體會家裡的好
我不會時時刻刻掛念某個人或地... 欸, 但我為什麼忘不了台灣?
一個人怎麼可能那麼爱一個國家?

我看得非常清楚台灣醜陋的政治, 淪陷的社會, 拜金的生活, 噁心的大男人主義, 那些只懂得讀書而不懂道德的學生... 其實老實說全世界都是如此, 但我在台灣看到另外一樣東西: 希望.
信仰不只是一個幫助我們度過難關的精神支柱, 基督教不是一個只想要你的錢的宗教, 神不只是平衡宇宙的力量, 耶穌不只是一個33AD死掉的猶太人, 他那革命般的愛更不是開玩笑的.

台灣有很多問題, 相信耶穌是答案有那麼離譜嗎?
不相信歷史的見證看看我的生命, 我的目的, 我的信念
我真的很愛台灣, 你在讀這文章了話我大概也關心你, 找一本聖經讀約翰寫的那篇吧!
對不起, 這本來不是我想要寫的... 但不知道為什麼情不自盡的就跑出來了...
請原諒我, 我回台灣送你巧克力好嗎? (要提前跟我說好讓我準備)

First Week back to Reality

It's been too long since I wrote on my blog, which btw gets linked to facebook. So if you see this on facebook, that's why. People tell me I should write more... So here I am writing.

~~~
I came back from Taiwan about a week ago, feeling completely exhausted from seeing all those friends and family but already longing for my next visit home. I miss those guys already... So that's what it feels like to be hammered back to reality... I could write about what exactly I did in Taiwan to make it so memorable, which would definitely be worth recording as it was one intense roller coaster ride: it was the most fun I've had in a while but over before I knew it... That will come later, though most likely in Chinese, sorry my English friends. Et pour mes amis qui parlent français, quoi!? Oui! Je me souviens de vous et vous me manquez toujours. Even now I wish I could be back home in Taiwan, but I know I've been put here for a purpose. It seems God wants me to focus on Him now more than ever, to once again go back to being the wide-eyed adventurer seeking truth. After Campus Church's worship night on Sunday, I'm even more sure.
~~~

In other news... I hit the gym on Thursday, and being the first time I worked out in almost four weeks, I found out I got tired really fast. Halfway through the third set for my chest workout, my muscles decided that they've had enough and completely gave out. Most people ease into their workout after an extended period of rest. Well not me! How dumb...
I only felt sore for about two days and I would've gone to the gym again if not for my chronic laziness. During my days of rest I played more than my fair share of video games, saving the world from the menace of both the Soviets and evil corporations. That's right, I'm awesome like that.

Apart from decimating evil people, I've been playing guitar. In fact, just today my friend Conan came over and we jammed for what felt like a really long time (big shout out to Tiff for her guitar). It really wasn't that long at all (2-3 hours?) but when you have two guitars, time gets distorted. Perhaps it playing that D-minor chord too much, but the pain actually got through my blisters. We played things like "I'm Yours", "Sweet Child O' Mine", "Numb", "Canon in D", "梁山伯與茱麗葉", "Blessed be Your Name", "Lucky"... Speaking of "Lucky", that's a good song, I can relate to it well.
Go listen to it here on youtube.

My guitar is the one on the right.

~Now do you hear me, talking to you
Across the water, across the deep blue ocean~