Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Purity During a Relationship


This word has become a relic of days past in today's overwhelmingly sensual society. From the flamboyant displays of human flesh (male and female alike) to the changing definitions of friendship, we have fallen quite far from what God wanted and (even if you aren't Christian) what I believe is healthiest in a relationship.

Why is it that people are supposedly more attractive the less they put on? From an utilitarian point of view, why should we incite lust in people when that has such a strong correlation with crime? From an evolutionary point of view, isn't it ironic that we are regressing back to the caveman days when we were scantily clad when the whole point of clothing is to provide protection from the cold and from the sun?

As for the second thing I mentioned, that regarding friendship, I think we have made it closer to romantic relationships than they were supposed to be. If you're a guy, what is the difference between going out with a girl (ie. shopping) versus going out on a date with your girlfriend? To most people I've spoken to, it's in the mentality. Well, I think that's idiotic. Is holding hands less symbolic if you don't think anything of it? Is kissing meaningless and thus okay if you treat the other person as a friend only? And if you're a girl, does emotional intimacy mean nothing? Confiding always and spending so much time with your best friend (who happens to be a guy) is not as harmless as one might think. I'm sure that most people agree that physical intimacy should be reserved for a romantic relationship, but somehow emotional intimacy should be allowed free reign? Is it not often even more dangerous than the physical and its wounds deeper?

As for those already in relationships, is it now okay to do whatever you want? My Christian friends will most likely respond "no" to this question, or at least I hope. In our world today, people in relationships "touch" each other, be it holding hands or caressing hair or kissing, having sex, etc. But where do you draw the line? Does the Bible say anything about dating? Nope. But about relationships it does. And about purity it does. And about holiness, well, are you holy (different, set apart)  in your relationships? Are you different from your non-Christian friends in how close you get to your boyfriend/girlfriend?

I'm learning. I want to be pure. I'm not just talking sexual abstinence, I'm talking something far more than that. I don't want to do what everyone else does. I don't want my mind to be occupied with carnal desires. I want a focus on growth, growth towards God and from that intimacy with each other. I do admit that this is often in conflict with my flesh, very often in fact. But aren't we call to deny ourselves and pick up the cross daily?