Clinging to the Cross

I am clinging to the cross because right now, that is the only thing I know how.

I am a lazy excuse of a man, having my parents take care of so much around the house. I am an impatient teacher, letting my anger flare up in the tiniest of mistakes. I am a horrible lover, unable to guard my own heart and unwilling to let go. I am a habitual sinner, daily unworthy of God's love as I continue to do the things that bring him no glory. I am a powerless evangelist, hardly preaching the word and never preaching the word hard. I am a nobody.

Here I lie, broken, unworthy, scared, angry, sad, and finally seeing a small glimpse of what I truly am. So I will cling to the cross. I will cling to the cursed tree that brought life (Deut 21:23). I will cling to that which is foolishness to most people (1 Cor 1:18). I will cling to the fulfilment of all the law and the prophets (Matt 5:17). I will cling to the impossible love demonstrated on the cross (Rom 5:8). I will cling to Jesus Christ, the hope of glory (Col 1:27).

What does it mean to cling to the cross? It means to hold fast and embrace the cross. Embrace the sacrifice that brought us peace. It means to hold on for dear life, never letting go, not for a job, not for a family, and not for anything in this world. It means to remain close to the cross and resist anything that would distance yourself from it. Resist those things because when the storm comes- and it is coming- the cross is the only thing that will save you. We cling to something when we are desperate, when we have nothing else around us, and when we believe that without it, we will die. Cling to the cross.

That is where I am, not by choice, but because God has painfully opened my eyes. I asked him, "Why God why?" "Look at the cross" he says, "Look at the cross!" It's not about me and my tiny problems, it's about God having solved it already. It's not about trying to be more humble, it's about obeying Jesus in every action. It's not about feeling depressed and hopeless, it's realizing the full magnitude of what was accomplished up there. It's not about whether I am this or I am that, it's about the great I AM.

The gospel is not something you try to share with unbelievers. The gospel is something that you preach to yourself day in and day out. The natural overflow of that is what reaches those around you. The gospel is not cheap grace that focuses on how God has changed you or how great your relationship with him is. The gospel is that God is unchangeable and that he has always been a self-sustaining and glorious triune God. The gospel is not Jer 29:11, the gospel is Phil 1:21 "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain".

Clinging to the cross isn't about how hard you can cling, it's about what the cross actually is. It's not about your petty sins. Look at the cross... It's not about your daily devotions. Look at the cross... It's not about Christian living, there's too much "me" in the bookstore, in worship music, in everything. LOOK at the cross! It is HIS life, HIS son, HIS blood, HIS wrath, HIS justice, HIS mercy, HIS grace, HIS goodness, HIS love, HIS plan, and HIS glory. Oh the beauty of our saviour, the majesty of our king!

I am everything I wrote in the first paragraph, but more than that I am a saint, so much so that the first paragraph doesn't even matter anymore. And I am part of a holy priesthood. I am a new creation (2 Cor 5:17). And I WILL bring glory to the one who died on that rugged cross. I will look at the cross, not myself, neither my strengths nor my weaknesses.

I am clinging to the cross because right now, that is the only thing I know how.