Today, I have a testimony to share. I had shared this in many formats but am now writing this down in order to edify as many people as possible. This is a story about my unsaved family.
My grandparents hated Christians and didn't even want their kids or grandkids to have anything to do with church. They would physically look away and not listen when we were talking about God. This one time, some Christian friends came to visit and care for them, my grandpa actually looked straight up at the ceiling WHILE they were talking, talk about rudeness... Beyond this spiritual darkness, there were spiritual attacks from Satan as well. For my grandpa, every single time that he went to church, that same night he would have a nightmare about demons and evil spirits fighting him or holding him down on the ground. These dreams would get so intense that he sometimes woke up in the middle of the night and got violent with my grandma. It got so bad that he doesn't even want to be physically near a church building now. During the times we prayed, he would not listen, when we talked about Heaven and Hell, he would laugh, and at the mention of Jesus, he would scoff. My grandma on the other hand would simply laugh at me every time I talked about Jesus, saying I'm delusional for believing in the afterlife and that I'm 走火入魔 (in too deep in a demonic way). The gospel had been shared in full many times, from the showing of the law to the sinfulness of man to the desperate need of Jesus as Lord and savior.
I don't need to tell you guys that spiritual warfare is real. And this is what had been going on in my house for the past four months, with my older brother too who is not too unlike my grandpa (in his rejection). I tried preaching the full, unadulterated truth of the gospel to them and they turned away. I tried loving them unconditionally and being the best example of Christ I possibly could and they ignored it. I tried fasting and praying on my knees many times a week, crying out for God's intercession, and sometimes I felt like He wasn't answering.
What made it worse was how much I love my family. I love them so much. I love them more than any other human relationship I have. I love them with the love of Jesus Christ. If I could die so that they might be saved, I would. If I could pluck out my eyes so that they can see Jesus how I see Him, I would. They are drowning, dying, and I cannot do anything... I could only watch them die... And that's what they are doing now. God has shown me very clearly that it is He alone who has the power to save. Nothing I do, no matter how "right" they are and how "strategically sound" they might be can amount to anything if God chose not to work in that way at that time.
But praise be to God, the joy of my salvation and the uplifter of souls! When we realize that it is God alone who works (Psalm 62:1), He starts working. When we continue our responsibility in sowing the seed and then do nothing else but sleep (Mark 4:26-27), God makes it grow. When we stop thinking that somehow our efforts would "inspire" God to act and realize that any action on His part is by His grace and nothing else (Eph 2:8-9), that's when God shows up.
My grandparents live in Taiwan, and I'm in Canada. The fact that they were even here for four months was an amazing opportunity. Just a month or two ago, when they still didn't want have anything to do with God, they came to church! In fact, they were adamantly against going on the previous night. Then, through the petition of the saints on bended knees, we saw a complete change of heart within a few hours! I have so many more of these God stories in just the past four months I could share but this post would get way too long. Just know that for 81 years of their life, they had never went to church, been part of worship, prayed with people, or heard the full gospel. And this all happened this summer! Praise God! Praise God!
Last week when my brother left, as we were sitting in the car at the airport, as I shared how much he means to me and how much I wanted him to see Jesus clearly, right before we were about to pray, tears started forming at his eyes. I've only seen him like this twice in my life. God was tugging at his heart and it is so evident! Bob, if you're reading this, God is calling out to you right now! How can you deny it any longer? It's not family you miss or need, it's Jesus! Read your Bible, pray, and meet your savior! Sorry about sharing this in public, you'll be fine.
This week, not to share any details, I was devastated by my grandpa's hardness of heart. And it broke mine. I had to lay it all before the throne of God above because my heart could not take it anymore. I had to stop trying so hard and doing so much and simply trust that God's word does not go out in vain. I even had to lay my grandpa's life on the altar, saying that his salvation (or lack thereof) does not change a thing about my affection for Christ. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do.
The next day, after prayer, the same thing that happened to my brother happened to my grandpa. The thing is, during the whole prayer I was sharing about the love of Christ and how they need it so badly. The Holy Spirit led me to rebuke them! Instead of getting angry, my grandpa, who I've never seen tear up in my entire life, was doing all he could to hold back his tears. My grandpa, who had never held my hand, not even to cross the road when I was a kid, could not let go of my hand after prayer. This was God at work!
My Christian friends, you may know all these things. You may know how only God saves. But I am praying that this truth will impact you more today than it ever did. When we experience spiritual oppression of this level, we don't stop trying when we see how our methods are ineffective. We keep trying as long as we are with them, waiting for God to work, however long it may take. And when we are not with them, we pray unceasingly. And throughout it all, we trust in God not to do what we ask, but to do what is good. That is the secret to evangelism: To fully work and fully rest at the same time. The gospel is disgusting and the fragrance of death to those who are perishing. But once God flicks that switch, you can be doing and saying the exact same things, but your unsaved friend will be on his knees, begging God to forgive him, smelling life for the first time.
Is that not where you were when you met Jesus for the first time? On your knees, broken, but knowing you've finally found what you've been searching for? Do you remember the beauty of your savior when you first laid eyes on Him and the smile on His bloodied face? Can you recall more clearly what was shared at your conversion or rather the overwhelming weight of sin and the unsurpassable desire for Christ? That feeling was the Holy Spirit! The Spirit's working can and WILL overwhelm any of your efforts. It was by GRACE you have been saved! Shall we "stop working" so that grace may abound? By no means! Do you remember what you were when you were called? Can you think back on how much God has changed you since then? Do you not think that what the gospel did in you, it can do to your friend/family? Yes! Yes, God Is mighty to save.
And if you can't remember any of these things, you need to repent right now. Beg for Jesus to forgive you. Know in your heart that whatever you had before was of man and not of God. Ask for a new heart of flesh and new eyes of faith. Then open those eyes, and look! Look up, for Christ is waiting for you with open arms. Oh run to Him, run to our blessed savior! And know that then He will give you rest for your soul.
