God has called me to preach the gospel for as long as I have breath, and I intend to do just that. I tried going through life without doing that, but the desire to preach the gospel full time has gotten too strong. I was no longer content to just do a nine to five job during the day and be do ministry in my spare time. Though I was already going to church 5 days a week and serving in different capacities, this was not enough. God had called me to full-time ministry.
I found myself reading the Bible at work. I would eventually feel bad that I’m doing this on company time and then I would go back to work. But then my mind is constantly distracted by either theology or some aspect of ministry. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed my work as a programmer. In fact, I was happy programming all day every day. There is something about writing Java, C#, and VB code that brings joy to a geeky guy like me.
It was not as if I was tired of my job and wanted something new. It was just that between the gospel and anything else, whatever that other thing is, it is no match for the longing that I had to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything is as trash compared to “the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Phil 3:8). That was when I realized that God had called me to full time ministry and not to programming.
I do not believe that serving God full-time was more important than serving God in the workplace. In fact, there are many people in the workplace that could most easily be reached by Christian coworkers. Furthermore, without Christians in the secular workplace making money, a lot of other Christians who depend on support for living would not be able to raise money as easily.
I say all this to say that as proud as I am of my calling, I do not see it as inherently superior. Though I once saw it as such in my olden days, I’ve since had to repent of such an arrogant attitude. To say the truth, this attitude is one reason that I did not pursue my calling earlier. I realized that I may have wanted to enter ministry because I wanted to be the best Christian possible, one that could beat all other Christians in terms of usefulness and anything else.
God waited a few years, took me through a lot of trials and subsequent pain, before he finally allowed me to do what I am doing now. So here I am, taking classes at Moody Theological Seminary and reminiscing about how I got this far. This fire is still shut up in my bones and threatening to explode very often. Though I have calmed down considerably, my passion in large part remains the same: I WILL preach the gospel for the rest of my life.
I am not satisfied with just preaching to a small audience either. I want to preach to the entire world. Now there is nothing wrong with just a small audience. It is very important that we have an abundance of churches, many of which having small congregations. This is so that each member can be properly cared for by a pastor. If the church grows too big, some people will inevitably slip through the cracks.
No, there is nothing wrong with small audiences, but my heart yearns for bigger crowds. It’s not that I want to be more famous or that I want more people to hear “Tony Chuang, preacher extraordinaire, the next Spurgeon!” I do admit such a title is very flattering. However, I wish that I could speak to the whole world. Then I could tell them of how God changed my life. I could speak of the way that God has saved me from both physical death and spiritual death, then I could speak of how God could save them as well. I could shepherd people, comfort people, and pray for many people specifically.
Most importantly, I could have the chance to personally plea before the millions of lost souls, begging them to not throw their lives into the fires of Hell. Oh the things that I could do if I got a microphone large enough. Oh the ways that this dying world would change if someone had a platform that broad and a microphone that loud.
The dream that I have is global revival. This is the vision that both my wife and I have. I see a world lit on fire by the holy fire of God. I see pockets of revival happening all over the globe, first in many localities but then growing and merging with one another. I see this spreading like wildfire, consuming all in its path. This global revival is what God has called me to. And He has called my wife to the same thing as well, which is why we are now both laboring tirelessly toward such an end.
My wife Esther is an amazingly gifted pianist, able to play the most difficult of classical pieces as well as lead people in Spirit-filled worship. Together, we seek to travel the world and host revival meetings in as many countries as will open to us. We seek to reach out primarily to the churches, to the people of God. For revival always starts with the people of God. Only after the children of God are revived does the rest of the world get reborn into this family. An awakening of souls starts with the awakening of the church.
I am no idiot though. I know that persecution will come like a tidal wave with such a platform. That is why now that I have a wife, I cannot step into this as readily. After all, I have a responsibility to protect her and my future children as well. I fear not for my own safety, but I fear for hers more and for our relationship. Such a ministry brings much strain to marriages and we still have so much to learn in marriage without such strains.
I fear for her health. I do not want to unduly stress her out. And doing what I want to do is a very stressful endeavor. I fear for her comfort. I want to spoil her, to give her a good life (yes, even materially). But I know that we cannot be in ministry to make money. I also know that having many material possessions is not always good spiritually either (something that I myself am still learning).
Along with that fear, I fear that we would not have enough money to do this. Traveling costs a lot of money. Even just traveling within one country costs a lot of money. We have not thought of a sustainable way to do this yet, which forces us on our knees as we cry out to God for His always sufficient provision. This is no easy task and no relaxing task either. But it is one that ensures a prayer-filled life that’s for sure.
So why not just preach the gospel? Why go to seminary at all? Well, I am here at seminary to be further equipped. I am not naïve nor that arrogant. I dare not presume that I have the ability to serve God in such a capacity without first being trained by older, godlier man. There is much in their wisdom that I lack in my youthful passion. There is also much that we can glean from official Christian centers of higher education that we should not carelessly discard. Yes the Spirit of God has in the past and will in the future use untrained people on fire for Him. But training is very seldom bad.
As I examine my own life now, the passion is still there and it is not going anywhere. Ever since God rescued me from Hell eleven years ago, I have not stopped running hard after Him and I do not intend on stopping now. I will fight the good fight (1 Tim 6:12) and I will finish the race (Acts 20:24). I could not do anything but think about God and preach His gospel a few years ago, which is what brought me to seminary. That remains true today. I pray that this will always be true in my life. I pray that this fire shut up in my bones will spread. I pray that if there be any sinful desire in my vision, God would uproot it. I pray that above all, I would never stop kneeling before Christ at the feet of His cross.
So Lord, here am I, mold me, send me, take me, use me… for the reviving of all nations.
